


Intervention

by sociopathicmoose (Werebr0kenppl)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 05:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werebr0kenppl/pseuds/sociopathicmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What the hell is this?"<br/>"Sam, this is for your own good; it's an intervention."</p>
<p>Basically Sam's hair gets soo long he starts to look like a girl and Dean and Cas decide it's high time to intervene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intervention

"Sam, seriously, get a freaking haircut," Dean said as they were cruising down the highway with the windows open, fresh air blowing Sam's lion mane of a head of hair blowing into Dean's face. "This is starting to get ridiculous."

"Hey, stop dissing my fabulous locks. Just cos your jealous," Sam retorted, almost defensively.

"Oh believe me, I am about the opposite of jealous, Samantha."

"Jesus Dean, drop it, for the last time."

"Oh I'll certainly drop it; as soon as I can witness at least an inch of that mop of yours dropping to the floor, unattached to your head, Simba."

"Dean," Sam said, with bitch face number 407,  _stop-it-now-or-God-help-me-I-will-kick-your-ass._  "That's enough, seriously, just stop."

"Bitch," was Dean's only response, as he turned up the volume,  almost completely drowning out Sam's customary reply of  _Jerk._

_\--_

A few days later found the brothers passed out face down in their hotel room; they had been up for the past close to 48 hours going after a group of teenage witch-slash-cheerleaders who was using their powers to make them the most popular girls in school, and ganking anyone who so much as  _looked_ at them wrong. They were so powerful, someone made the mistake of starting a rumor that one of them gave second-rate handjobs; the group of them then had both of the unlucky gossip monger's arms ripped off. They decided to forgo a few hours of sleep to ensure that Lincoln High was back to it's safe, normal state of being 100% witch free.

After about 2 hours, Cas dropped in, the fluttering of his wings effectively waking up Dean.

" _Jesus_ , how long have you been standing there, man?" Dean asked, sleepily, before yawning.

"I only just arrived."

Dean sat up and took one look at Sam, the moose that he is, completely sprawled out and making the queen bed look tiny beneath him. Dean also noticed how moose was sleeping on his stomach, the ridiculous head of hair fanned out on the sides of his face.

"Cas, I have an idea."

\---

"Dude! What the hell!" Sam exclaimed as from the bathroom after he noticed what Dean was doing while he was still passed out. Dean was sitting on his bed and started cackling rather loudly. "Not funny, Dean!"

Dean had managed to braid the hair, even more fuel to add to his fire about needing it to be cut.

Dean sat on the bed, laughing, barely able to breathe, tears forming in the corners of his eyes form the intensity of his laughter. Cas just sat on the edge of the bed, not very pleased that Dean took advantage of his brother but when Sam walked back out into the room, Cas started chuckling lightly.

"No, not you too! Dean, you've corrupted the Angel to your ways of childish teasing, I'm dissappointed in you."

Dean just ignored him and continued laughing.

"Let's just... Let's just go get something to eat; I slept for 5 hours and I'm starving."

\--

They managed to find a nice, quaint little diner, just down the street from their motel. As usual, Sam ordered himself a salad and Dean ordered himself and Cas both cheeseburgers and a Coke, as well as some pie. While they were waiting for the waitress to bring their bill, there was a girl with relatively short, mousy brown hair, an over-sized plaid shirt, and short jean shorts and flip flops, not-so-secretly staring their way.

"Dean, I think that female over there is very conspiciously staring at you," Cas said, and Dean thought he could hear just a hint of jealousy in his voice. "Shall I go over there and make her stop?"

"No, Cas, that's not necessary, thanks."

Just then, said female started making their way over. Since Sam had his back to her and was hunched over finishing his milkshake, he didn't notice her approach. 

"H-hi," the girl said, somewhat shy. "Just curious, but are you free later?" She was still addressing Sam but he was still preoccupied with is milkshake, so Dean kicked him indignantly.

"Ow, Dean!" 

The girl heard his voice and went wide-eyed.

"Oh!," she liteally squeaked. "M-my mistake," she said as tore out of the diner. 

"Oh, my god." Dean said, trying desperately to keep his laughter in check. "I think you were just asked out by a dyke thinking you were a girl."

"Dean, that is neither funny, nor should you be calling her a dyke," Cas said, with a slight angry tone to his voice.

"C'mon Cas, his hair is so long she thought he was a girl, that's freakin'  _hilarious."_

"You done?" Sam asked, giving him bitch face number 789  _so-not-amused-with-your-shit-right-now_.

"Nope. I'll never be done. Until the day you go get yourself a haircut."

\--

A few months later, and Sam  _still_ hadn't gotten a haircut yet.

Dean was getting really irritated.

It has now gotten to the point that Sam's hair has actually started  _curling_ on the ends, it's so damn long.

While he's out doing a grocery run for the Batcave, Dean purposefully stays behind and calls for Cas for assistance for his plan.

"Cas, get your ass down here. I need your help."

"Dean?" Cas answered, almost immediately, scaring teh crap out of Dean.

"Jesus, Cas, you scared me. We need to hold an intervention for Sam; it's gone past the point of him needing just a trim, he need his whole freakin' head shaved."

"What do you propose we do then?"

"I got an idea, but we need to run to the craft store real quick."

\--

Since Sam had the Impala, Dean was forced to let Cas angel zap them.

"You know I really don't like it when you do that to me," he said.

Cas didn't say anything, either because he didn't have anything to add or he didn't want to add anything, Dean didn't know.

"We need a white sheet, some black paint, and some paint brushes," Dean said.

"I can find the sheet," Cas said as he turned and was gone.

"I guess I'll get the paint stuff, then," Dean said to no one.

\---

Ten minutes later, Cas had angel zapped them back to the motel. Almost immediately, Dean took the sheet from Cas, laid it out on the floor, and began to paint a word on it in black, bold letters.

"I-N-T-E-R-V-E-N- Dean, what are you doing?"

"Cas, I already said, we're holding an intervention for Sammy. There's this episode of How I Met Your Mother where they keep holding interventions for each other and they have an actual Intervention banner like this one."

"I fail to see how this banner will help in the way of urging Sam to get a haircut."

"Just, nevermind that, and help me hang this up, quick, before he gets back."

They had just enough time to hang it up on the wall and seat themselves at the small table before Sam got back.

"Hey Dean, I could use a hand with-what are you doing?" he said, upon entering the room and seeing the way they were sitting and secondly the banner. "What the hell is this?"

"Sam, this is for your own good; it's an intervention. Please sit and we'll talk," Cas said slowly and calculated.

"I have groceries to put away firs-" Sam started to point out but Dean interrupted him.

"Sit the hell down and listen."

Sam silently sat, not wanting to piss off his brother even more.

"No avoiding it, Sam; you're getting your hair cut.  _Today._ "

"Fine," Sam agreed.

"No, I meant-what?" Dean said, starting a tad angry but visibly losing steam, caught off guard by his brother's response. "I was planing on you  _actually_ agreeing, I had this whole argument planned out, inculding some wise words from Charlie. She makes a pretty damn-good argument."

"Wait, you talked to Charlie about my hair?" Sam said.

"Yeah, sent her a picture in an email, she asked who the chic was. She was so confused when I told her it was you," Dean said with a chuckle.

"Look, how bout you help me put the groceries away and then I'll go find a place to get it cut, okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, sure, so long as you promise one thing."

Sam sighed. "What am I promising?"

"To never let your hair get that freakishly long again, you seriously are starting to look like a girl."

"Yeah okay, got it."

And about an hour later, true to his word, Sam returned with a much shorter-not completely shaved off, but still considerably shorter than it used to be-haircut. And Dean stopped calling him Samantha and Simba.

At least till it grew out again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is partially because of another tumblr post and partially cos i just watched the himym episode with all the interventions and yea, i regret nothing.


End file.
